JOKES@
You know you're a triathlete when For those of you who don't read the triathlon discussion group, this was posted recently. It's a bit American...I couldn't be bothered to Europeanise it.....and WHY does the writer assume that all triathletes are MEN?? Anyway, it's quite amusing, and I think I can own up to doing about 90% of it!!

you have a lifetime supply of water bottles, safety pins, and t-shirts.

you have trouble keeping lunch under 2000 calories.

you usually wake up at 4:00 in the morning but don't get to work until way after 9:00.

you have a $4000 bike strapped on top of your $2000 car.

you're always wet .... sweat, pool, lake, sea water, shower, bath, or rain.

your car has at least one energy bar wrapper and water bottle on the floor

your kids idea of playing is a race and awards ceremony.

you depart in morning with swim bag, bike, and running shoes in case you can get away at lunch for a workout.

you take triathlon junkets instead of vacations

you have far more shoes than your wife

your kitchen cupboards are organized into "protein", "carbs" and "etc"

you bring bottled water to a party so that you're properly hydrated for the next morning's long run.

everyone else at the party also brought their own bottled water because you don't have a social life outside of triathlon. Oh yeah, and they all showed up by 7pm and left by 10pm.

your 8 year old comes home with the school record for the mile and says, he took it out in a nice pace he could hold.....everyone else died.

you ask your wife, girlfriend, or sister for leg shaving advice.

you mention a race and somebody responds "running or biking" and you are again forced to explain....

you wear your bathing suit under your work clothes to make a fast transition from work to swim on your lunch hour.

you name your two new puppies Kona and Hawi

your spouse wants dinner out and a movie, so you agree, but fall asleep during the previews.

you show up at the neighbourhood pool on your bike in a Speedo and >embarrass your teenage daughters.

you've spent more on bikes in the last 10 years than you have on clothes for the past 50

somebody hands you a cup of water and you have to restrain yourself from pouring it over your head.

you forget that talking about daily LSD and speed weirds some people out.

you feel like you took the day off because all you did was swim 3000 yards.

Cars pass you on the road when you're driving and you either drop back to get out of draft zone or speed up to attack!

your bed-time reading on your night stand consists of a pile of: DeSoto catalogs; InsideTri; Triathlete, VeloNews, USMA Swim, etc.

you haven't bought work clothes in two years, yet you own bike shorts made by every manufacturer under the sun and can recite the merits of CoolMax, Supplex, etc. in your sleep!

you know you could make a killing at Jeopardy if only the categories were: - Past winners of Hawaii Ironman - Legs shaving techniques - 40-30-30 diet - Aerodynamics racing wheels - Gastrointestinal problems and long runs - How to justify a 4000$ bike

When asked, how old you are you answer 35-39.

Your training is more limited by available time then how far you can run.

Nobody believes you when you say 'Never again'.

You take part in the corporate challenge to improve your base speed.

In the summer your legs are smoother then your girlfriend's.

You need a picture for a job application and you only have race pictures.

You use running T-shirts to clean your bike.

You think there are only two seasons during the year, racing and off.
when you see some lady watering her flowers and ask her if you can borrow the hose for a minute so you can fill up your water bottles.

You clean your bike more often than your car

When asked to mow the lawn in 90 degree heat, you say that its too hot to do that (and you mean it) and then an hour later you go on a century ride because its so nice out.

you mow your legs more often than your lawn.

You tell your co-workers that you are going to "do a long brick" on Saturday and just expect that they know what you are talking about.

You are convinced that if you rest more than one day, your muscles will a trophy, your ultra-fit body will turn into a pile of goo and everyone in your age group will beat you.